Friday, February 5, 2010

Stomach flu and $0 in my bank account = one hungry Sarah

Holy Crap!! I have figured out the best and fastest way to lose weight...POVERTY! Property taxes came out of my account unexpectedly and I was left with -$0 in my account. And of course this fell on grocery shopping day. Oy. I had a twenty in my pocket and that got me M&M's chicken breasts and some oatmeal. Oh, what a sad sight my lunch box has been. I have a new respect for the fitness models who eat the same old boring chicken & rice every single day for months.

Oh, and get this. I even screwed chicken breasts up. I was pissed that I only got like 2 meals a day so I just shoved the chicken breasts on a pan and shot it in the oven. Well, I forgot to put aluminum foil down and it burned & stuck the the stupid. pan. Great...make that 1 meal today...ugh!

And then I get the flu...the only thing I could stomach was Starbucks Tea Mizo's (a copywritten form of tea latte). Good thing I can flirt my way into making boys pay things for me ;) Thank you boys from work! Actually, I just threatened to throw up on them if they did by me tea...hehe.

It got so bad the last couple of days...I went through all THREE boxes of stale cereal...ew, chicken broth, salsa, and canned salmon. My idea was that I would eat as much oatmeal in the morning as possible that my stomach would be so full that I couldn't even think about eating til dinner...wrong. Not to readers...eating copious amounts of oatmeal is NOT A GOOD IDEA. I have never experienced something like that before. After the biggest poop of my life I felt so heavy and full I could barely move. Oh, and I was so full I think I did puke just because of that. Perhaps I didn't have the stomach flu I was just puking up 4lbs of oat bran. I went through the rice, the barley, I mean I didn't even have sucked!

But, I think I lost 2 pounds. But as soon as the paycheck comes in I feel as though I deserve enough chocolate to make up for it. That is if the government lets me keep my money this time...bastards. A new meaning for Fat Cats...they have all of our food money.

Sarah xoxo

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