Sunday, January 17, 2010

Sarah vs. the food processor...winner...the food processor :(

Today was a kitchen day from hell. Let me set the scene for you. This morning I get up and collect all the ingredients for turkey cabbage rolls. I'm pumped. I arrive home, put the groceries on the counter and put away my coat. I get distracted by the phone and wind up chatting for half an hour or so. Well, when I come back to the kitchen my dog Roxy has managed to eat all of the RAW chicken breasts, half the tomatoes, and 2 of my Tupperware containers. AGH!!! I act surprised but I shouldn't be. The little brat has certainly consumed her fair share of my food before.

I shoo Roxy outside and head back to the grocery store and get the ingredients again. For some reason I wind up at the same teller. The lady gives me a "what are you doing back here look". I don't feel like going into it so I just smile and pay.

In the kitchen: Folks, it just goes down hill from here. First I break a bowl, the my Corningware dish. Deep breath...okay. I put the rice on. Next the recipe says to boil water and put head of cabbage in colander. Then pour the hot water over the cabbage to soften up the leaves so they are pliable. FYI Clean Eating...this TOTALLY doesn't work. I go through leaf after leaf of cabbage. Crap! The all keep breaking. So I do my best and put it aside.

I couldn't find ground chicken at the store so I bought breasts and decided to try out my brand new food processor. I figured it could chop that bad boy up into pieces. Note to reader...DO NOT try to assemble your food processor the day you are making the meal. I have all the damn pieces scattered over my kitchen floor and I'm reading the directions. Why the hell do these things never make sense. It's written in a whole different kind of English. I'm sticking things in all kinds of holes, putting pieces together like a puzzle. It's a mess. 10 minutes later I realize I'm missing a piece (I think), I'm bleeding, and tears are rolling down my checks. I am going to kick some Kitchen Aid ass once I can just pull myself together. Low Point.

Screw it. I shoved all the pieces into the cupboard and took out my sharpest knife. That's right, I pulled up my Tristan & America apron and cut the stupid chicken into minuscule pieces by hand.

Oh crap, the rice. Hallelujah, I didn't burn it. So now, chicken goes into the pan along with the onions. 5 minutes later in go the tomatoes. By this point I am exhausted and I thank my lucky stars that I decided to buy tomato sauce instead of following the recipe and making it myself. After I've mixed the rice and turkey mixture together I attempt to put it into cabbage packages. OMG I wish you all could have been there for this. Apparently I must have gotten the bargain brand toothpicks b/c they were utterly useless. By the end of it I was layering cabbage, turkey and rice. Lastly I put on the tomato sauce and shoved it in the oven.

I flopped down onto my chair glad it was all over...until I sat back up and realized...f@%k...I had all the dished to do.

So now the cabbage rolls (?) are in the oven, the dishes are done and I'm listen to Mylie Cyrus belt out 'It's the Climb' on the radio. You have got to be kidding me, it the climb? Apparently this kid has never had to cook before.

Note to Kitchen Aid and give them a piece of your mind tomorrow. Smile!

Sarah xoxo

1 comment:

  1. I can totally picture this moment...i picture sitting on the floor disasembeled pieces all around....tears...fingers bleeding....i would have broken the stupid thing, i give you props for putting it in the cupboard. i would have thrown it against the wall. and then maybe punched the wall...and then walked away....good for you.
    dont let the processor beat you. make something yummy and show that processor. fucking dogs. molly eats everything...
    loving your blog...i am glad you have found yourself again.